I want us to fight and scream
That the toxic connection we have
Hides behind the closed doors of my bedroom
I want no way out
I want you to put your arm around me
I want us to sleep together
That we hold each other’s hand
That I love you and you love me
Don’t touch me
Stay away from me
I fell really hard and I didn’t mean to
It was also not my fault
So because of somebody else
I fell really hard
And now I’m in pain
Every time this happens, I stand up again
Just what I’m supposed to do
But the floor feels really safe
I sometimes I don’t want to get up
It is so much easier to just lay down
I’m numb
It costs me a lot of energy to do what I am supposed to do
But I feel like
I’m not here
I want to run and cry and scream
But first of all, I don’t have the energy
And second of all, I don’t want to
It doesn’t work
Because afterwards
I’m numb
And it costs me a lot of energy to do what I am supposed to do
And I feel like
I’m not here